5 dicembre 2013

NEW YORK – Yet another shock announcement from Lady Gaga: the undisputed Queen of Pop has declared she will wear a human leather jacket, made up with the skin donated by her fans.

The singer explained her idea in an exclusive interview to tRolling Stone magazine: “The physical contact with my fans always gives me deep and intense vibrations, when I perform on stage I wish they could be all on me. And I never feel as alive as when I sing naked wearing only a leather jacket. So I thought of asking my fans to show me their love with a very special present: a little bit of their skin.”

Lady Gaga has hired over 100 plastic surgeons all over the world. The equipe will be led by the famous Dr J. Men Gele. The US team will be coordinated by the Baltimora specialist Jame Gumb. The surgeons will decide together with the fans which strips of skin to cut. Lady Gaga’s tailors suggest to use the skin between anus and genitals, because of its ideal elasticity, even if that might affect recovery time. When all the strips have been collected, the tailors will decide which ones to use. The lucky fans that will contribute will be finally honored to be worn by their idol and will be further rewarded with an ampoule of Lady Gaga’s menstrual fluid.

Many VIPs will take part in this special contest: the very first will be one of the artist closest friends, Donatella Versace. The Italian stylist will not even need to undergo a surgery, since she has always stored the leftovers from her face lifts and so she currently has about 3 square meters of skin, that has used so far mainly to increase the wrinkles of her Shar-Pei dogs.

Andrea Michielotto nasce per partenogenesi da un altro organismo pluricellulare chiamato Andrea Michielsette. È considerato uno dei maggiori narratori viventi in uzbeko, anche se crede di scrivere in italiano. Attualmente lavora come ghost writer di Domenico Scilipoti.